Commuter Salute

Hi all, I've decided to do something new on Fridays. Every Friday (if I'm able) I'll salute my fellow commuters who made my hour-plus commute to work particularly interesting that week. Not a week goes by that someone doesn't do something either impossibly dumb or unexpectedly kind on the subway/buses (yes, that's plural) that I take to work. This week was a bad one for commuting, for some reason. Anyway, please raise your glass with me as we toast D.C.-area commuters:


-To the persnickety a-hole in the stupid Greg Norman straw hat with the wide brim who said, "I guess you don't believe in standing in line" when I attempted to join a line of zombies going up the escalator and, unbeknownst to me, cut him off: I salute you.


-To the woman with the fanny pack who wouldn't stop holding onto the balancing bar even when the train was stopped, forcing me to awkwardly duck around you instead of you, you know, just stepping the hell out of my way: I salute you.


-To the giant man with gangly limbs who, though he could've stood anywhere on the train, decided to stand right up close to me so I had trouble writing in my notebook: I salute you.


-To the man-child leaning into me in an overwrought attempt to stay balanced on a barely-swaying subway car: I salute you.


-To the bus driver who leaves the bus turned off while we all pile in, thereby leaving the A/C off and allowing us to baste in our own juices: I salute you.


-To the woman basically sitting in my lap who only covered her mouth every fourth time she coughed while filling out a soduko...sudoko...sunoco...oh, whatever: I salute you.


-To the girl with the hunted eyes who, even though she's sitting two rows back and who got on the bus way after me, leaps up before the bus has even stopped just so she can get off the bus first, showing no appreciation for the coveted "I was here first" rule: I salute you.


Honorable mention goes to the lady with the wheely luggage who never fails to ditch the line leading onto the bus: I salute you.


That's it for this week. I'm sure there were some acts of kindness, but honestly, I can't remember any. Anyway, as they say on the Continent: salud!